


for better or for worse.

by Anonymous



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Slow Burn, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-29 09:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19827649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Commitment to their roles wasn't the issue, Steven knew that. What Matt and Alex really had trouble committing to was each other, especially when their off-screen disputes began to affect their on-screen romance. In fear of hindering the show's success, and unable to tolerate it any longer, Steven proposed a solution far more method than either had expected to endure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know the individuals in this story personally. It's just that – a story. It was fun to write, so I hope it’s fun to read. Enjoy!

“Steven, you can’t be serious about this,” Alex said, following him into his office and dropping her script on his desk. “They’re not going to find it believable.” 

“It worked out perfectly fine the last time," he argued, keeping his voice low. "What harm could it do now?"

Steven shut the door behind them, anticipating a rebuttal, but when he turned and met her expectant gaze, he decided to shift gears.

“You know, he’s rather keen on the idea, actually.” 

“Well, of course he is. He’s hardly finished going through puberty,” she stated bitterly. Alex attempted to follow his lead, keeping her own tone discreet, but she couldn’t help her agitation seeping through. “And it was different with David. He wasn’t _half_ my age.” 

“Now, that’s not fair. You haven’t even met the man yet.” 

He made a motion to offer her a chair, but Alex glared at him, standing firmly in place. Wise enough to refrain from pressing the matter, Steven circled his desk and seated himself instead. 

“I should have known better,” she muttered, “when I was asked to return and– Oh, what was it you said?” Alex placed a hand on her forehead, staring at his bemused expression as she struggled to find the words. “You needed me to guide him, to hold his hand.” 

“I did– I _do_ ,” he said, interjecting as he recalled their previous conversation, “but I’m not following. I don’t see how that has any relevance.” 

“Honestly, Steven.” Alex felt him trying her patience. “It’s relevant because I came back to play the Doctor’s wife,” she stated pointedly, “not his... _mother_.” 

The word twisted itself around her tongue, leaving an undesirable taste in her mouth. 

“Alex,” he chuckled, finding the notion senseless, but he was desperate to reason with her. “Okay, perhaps he is a bit... fresh–faced.” 

“That’s one way to put it,” she scoffed, beginning to pace the floor. 

"But,” he continued, folding his hands in front of him, “that’s not how he comes across, I can promise you.” 

It was no secret that Steven would have been the first to agree with Alex – in fact, he even shared many of her doubts – but that was before he had proven himself so utterly wrong. 

Holding auditions for the show all those months ago, Steven was adamant about finding the right person. Not just any person, but, in his mind’s eye, a specific type of individual. An older gentleman, jaded by his own experiences, but having never quite outgrown his boyish charm, and Steven went so far as meeting with seemingly every seasoned actor in the whole of Great Britain, determined to discover him. However, he was stunned by his inability to find one suitable enough to do the job, the search becoming so exhaustive that, after enduring an endless number of failed attempts, Steven nearly began to question his own competence. 

At least, until the right person finally came along. 

Despite his denial and countless hours spent dancing around the idea, Steven knew he had to face the truth, which was simply that some people can surprise you. While he didn't expect to find everything he was looking for in Matt... he _did_ , and it seemed his only hope was for everyone else to do the same, and to see what he saw – especially Alex. 

“Alex?” Steven pulled himself out of his reverie when his mind drifted to her, realizing she was still in the room and on the brink of boring a hole into his office floor. When she neglected to hear him, he waved his hand to catch her attention, repeating her name, but she was already swimming in her own concerns. 

They nearly drowned her until Steven’s office door swung open, stopping her in her tracks. 

“Mr. Moffat, they’re ready for you,” Alex heard someone say, startling her enough to turn her head towards the door. One of Steven’s writing interns was standing there, having failed to acknowledge he wasn’t alone. “Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have– I didn’t kn–” 

“No, no, don’t mind it,” he said, releasing a weary sigh as he rose from his seat. “Just tell them I’m on my way.” 

“Yes, of course, sir,” he responded, averting his eyes as he offered them both a timid smile. Alex made an effort to return it, but he vanished as quickly as he had appeared. 

“I’m sorry, Alex, I've got to go,” Steven called out, catching her attention again. Rounding his desk, he picked up her script and stood in front of her. “I want you to know I hear your concerns, I do–” 

“But you’ve already cast the parts and written the scripts, I know,” she stated. “I’m well aware.” 

“ _But_ I need your cooperation – for you to give him a chance,” he said, smiling at her as he placed the script in her arms. “If you do your job, you won’t be let down. Trust me.” 

Alex took a beat, consumed by a feeling short of reassurance, but before she could protest any further, Steven exited the room – leaving Alex with her tongue held between her teeth. 

\- 

“Trust him? Of course I trust him,” Alex mumbled to herself, as she entered the building. “I trust his words, I trust his direction–” she continued, hitting the elevator button. “I even trust what he has yet to tell me, but him...” She ran a hand along her curls, trying to reason with her thoughts. “ _Him_ , I don’t know.” 

Alex promised not to worry herself today with more than she could handle. Walking down the corridor, she tried to push the idea of meeting Matt to the back of her mind. At her usual read–throughs, she hardly felt more nervous than necessary, but today was different. Unbearably different. It was Alex's first table–read since her last appearance on the show, over a year ago, if she could remember correctly. However, not only that, but her first appearance with a new Doctor too, and most likely a companion gallant enough to keep up with him. 

Alex sighed, mulling over the thought as she reached the conference room door. 

“No,” she stated, fingers gripping the handle, “not gallant.” Conflicting with her better judgment, Alex braced herself by peering through the door window, eyes immediately setting themselves on a head of vibrant, red hair. “Plucky.” 

Yes, _plucky_ , that was the word. ‘Gallant’ was meant for giants, warriors, but for the girl standing at the side of the room, bright–eyed and round–faced, fiddling with the sleeves of her washed out jumper... No other word suited her so well. 

“Fresh–faced comes to mind,” Alex whispered, shifting her focus from the girl to the man standing beside her, facing away from the door. 

Catching sight of his fingers running through his hair, her heart began to race, but as soon as he turned his head to call someone over, it dropped heavily in her chest. Alex was so keen on not running into him that her eyes were prepared to deceive her, ready to see his face anywhere – even on the head of a damned PA. 

She was already making a fool of herself and she hadn’t even entered the room yet. 

“I’m fairly certain you have to open the door to get past it,” a voice spoke up behind her. 

Alex's breath hitched, turning on her heel to face the person responsible for it. When she did, her focus began to trail upwards – gaze fixated on a pair of roguish eyes staring back at her. 

“I beg your pardon?” she asked. 

“The door,” he repeated, nodding towards it. “Not eager to find out what’s waiting on the other side, I presume. Though,” he paused, glancing at the door window, “I can’t say I don't understand the feeling.” 

It took his words a moment to reach Alex, eyes tracing his features as she became conscious of who was standing in front of her. And not just who, but the only _who_ she least desired to find herself alone with. One with a face so fresh she willed gravity to sink her into the floor below, especially as her focus shifted down again, watching his lips begin to curve. 

Alex was so beside herself, she hadn’t realized she missed her cue to speak, and he was starting to notice. Forcing the right words to find her, she stumbled through a response. 

“Oh, no, I wasn’t hiding. I was– I–” Alex attempted to clarify the misunderstanding, but went quiet when she failed to do so, silently berating herself for it instead. After all, he wasn’t entirely wrong. “Was it that obvious?” she asked, wincing at the thought. 

“Hardly,” he lied, shrugging with an air of indifference, “but, seeing that we’re both standing on the same side of this matter,” he gave a smug grin, peeking at the empty corridor as he leaned into her, “I won't to tell anyone if you won’t. Otherwise, we’ll both be found out.” 

“Just between us, then,” Alex said, chuckling at the sentiment. She reached for the door handle behind her, but felt herself hesitate, fingers hovering over it. 

Ever since she turned to look at him, Alex waited patiently for the right moment to excuse herself, in a rush to enter the room before it went any further. And, to be fair, she still was. 

Though he didn’t appear quite as juvenile as she’d imagined, Alex held onto her grudge and the denial it sank its teeth into. However, the closer Alex came to pushing the door open, the more she felt she’d regret the decision, despite how he had discovered her in the corridor. And, more importantly, what he _could_ have discovered if given the chance, which he almost didn’t. 

Almost. 

Alex had hardly turned the knob when she stole a moment to glance at his face, catching him staring at her halo of curls. It was the moment she saw it dawn upon him, the question she deliberately kept from answering as they stood like two pillars holding up that vacant corridor. 

“Wait,” he stated, “we haven’t met yet, have we?” 

His gaze shifted from her hair to her eyes, waiting expectantly. The moment they landed on her lips, her mouth went dry, and she could only shake her head in response. 

“Oh, forgive me,” he said, eyes settling back on Alex’s as he extended his arm out towards her. 

Alex was reluctant to lift her own, but he met her halfway, gently taking her hand in his. 

“I’m Matt,” he said, “Matt Smith, and you–" He hesitated, beaming at her. "Well, you must be–” 

“Alex,” she responded, suppressing her nerves. “Alex Kingston.” 

Despite the tension in her arm, Alex’s hand fell limp in Matt’s palm, and it was then that his gaze really bore into her, far deeper than just moments before. 

“Yes, of course,” he whispered, lowering their hands between them. “Miss Kingston.” 

Alex expected him to pull away, but Matt surprised her as he held on, smiling delightedly at her. 

“What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

“Ah, there you are,” Matt said, calling to Steven as he approached craft services. “I was hoping to bump into you.” 

“Were you?” Steven let out a nervous laugh. “I'm afraid to know what for.” 

“Just a question,” he stated, “albeit an urgent one.” 

Steven turned away from the table to face him, eyeing Matt’s tense demeanor in anticipation, but when he noticed Matt was in costume, he felt compelled to speak first. 

“Hold on, are you set to film yet?” 

“No, not for another hour,” Matt said, glancing over at the stage. “Or so I've been told.” 

Told repeatedly, in fact. 

Troubled by the idea of being rushed when he was finally summoned, Matt grew restless waiting in his trailer – the glamour of it feeling more and more like a prison cell. He decided to head straight for set, frustration getting the better of him, but when he walked in, the tension was almost palpable. 

Matt stood at the door, eyes scanning the perimeter of the vast, green space – the backgrounds lining it, the structures on top of it, and the people running about it, all in a panic. It seemed everyone felt as overwhelmed by the delay, trying to accomplish what was demanded of them. The crew especially, whom he witnessed taking on the worst of it. Matt felt ridiculous. 

Hidden away in his trailer, he was only concerned about his own time. He neglected to consider how much it weighed on everyone. Well, almost everyone. 

Off–set, Matt busied himself with observing the crowd, but it didn’t take long to find the center of their attention. The one person who wasn’t so much _enduring_ her job as she was basking in it. 

“Alex,” he whispered, craning his neck at the sight of her – suspended above the camera, mid–air, by a set of wires. 

Matt kept away from the crowd during the shoot, near–breathless watching as her arms spread to her sides like wings. Watching the way she left them all mesmerized. And, truth be told, left him mesmerized as well.

At a loss for words, even, but not in the same way.

He knew River’s grace, her brilliance – how otherworldly she became. Especially when she was displayed like this, in all her glory, at the heart of the room. But between those takes, those fleeting moments, Matt found himself distracted by something else. Something beyond her. 

River was a vision, but she wasn't the only one, because for Matt, where River flickered were glimpses of Alex he wanted to cling to – 

Swaying in her harness as the wind rippled through her gown. Bending her head back as laughter erupted from inside of her. Waving down at members of the crew, making an effort to keep their spirits up. 

Those were moments Matt found himself captivated by her, by the pure elation reflected on her face. Those were images he turned to, burned into his memory when he’d picture her. Those were thoughts which lingered in his mind, until less favorable ones came to light. 

Until he was reminded of his dilemma and captivation slipped away from him – an unshakable grievance left in its wake. 

“Didn't you need me for something?” Steven asked, noticing Matt had fallen silent. When he didn’t answer, Steven followed his gaze instead. “Unless you’ve already found it.” 

“Hmm?” Matt turned his head from the stage to catch the other man staring at him. “Oh, right, my question,” he said, gathering his thoughts. “It’s actually about Alex.” 

“You don’t say.” Steven refrained from smiling. “What about her?” 

“I need to confide in you about a problem I’m having.” 

“A problem?” Steven asked, in disbelief. “With _Alex_?” 

Matt nodded in response, eyeing him with suspect as Steven grew tense, reminded of their heated encounter in his office just weeks before. 

“Well, not so much a problem as a... difficult matter,” Matt clarified. 

He began to explain the issue at hand, but Steven failed to follow, his mind already a step ahead of Matt’s words, recounting every interaction they shared over the past few weeks. 

The show had barely started filming, of course Steven didn’t expect Alex to come around yet, but he was certain things were going well – especially after he watched the way she and Matt seemed to play off each other during table–reads, rehearsals, and shooting so far. 

He feared, in hindsight, it may not have been certainty, but a large dose of wishful thinking. 

“You all right, mate?” Matt asked, reaching out to place a hand on Steven’s shoulder. 

“Of course. Perfectly,” he said, clearing his throat, “but, with my job being what it is, it's my duty to be aware of any conflict.” 

“Well, it’s more like the _lack_ of one, really.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with things going well, Matt,” Steven reassured him. “You’re getting on with Karen, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, but Alex is a different story,” Matt said, eyes shifting in thought. “I fear I may have upset her somehow.” 

“Has she said anything to you?” 

“No,” he stated, concern visibly etched onto his face as he looked up at Steven. “Why? Has she said anything to _you_?” 

“Not about anything you did, no,” Steven said, trying to deter him from the idea. “Are you sure you’re not just imagining things?” 

“I’m absolutely sure,” he insisted. “It’s been going on for a while now.” 

“How long?” 

“In all honesty?” Matt shook his head, unsure of his answer. “I’d say since our first table–read. I ran into her before we walked in, but–” 

“And she seemed fine?” Steven asked. 

“Well, yeah,” Matt said, his mind drifting back to the day he first met her. “At least, I thought so, but ever since then, it feels as if she’s doing all she can to avoid me.” 

Steven raised his brows in surprise. He must have failed to notice, though he certainly knew he’d have to have another word with her. And sooner rather than later. 

“Until, of course, it comes to being River and the Doctor,” Matt continued, adjusting his bow tie, “but she can’t very well avoid her job, can she?” 

“Not if she wants to keep it.” 

Matt smiled at the comment, and Steven’s attempt at lightening his mood. 

“But it does grant her the luxury of a diversion,” he sighed, expression slipping as he watched Alex descend onto the stage again. 

They had finally finished shooting River’s escape, which meant it was almost time for his scene with her. Matt was torn between waiting and not wasting another moment, pressed for time to talk to her. 

Until he heard her laughter as she stepped out of her harness. 

Alex was being escorted off the set by her stunt coordinator, stumbling her way down as they tried to find her footing again. Gravity wasn’t making the situation any easier, but he could see it made little difference to her mood – the pure elation she had was still emanating from her. 

Matt couldn’t bring himself to confront her, not yet. Not if it took that away from her. 

He let another moment pass and remained silent. However, Steven noticed just as before, taking another opportunity to follow his gaze, but this time with far less amusement. 

“Let me talk to her,” he offered, shifting in place to look at her. 

“No, Steven, I won’t have it,” Matt said, waving away the idea. “I don’t want to make a big deal of it.” 

“A bit late for that.” Matt attempted to glare at him, but slumped his shoulders in defeat. “It benefits no one if you can’t do your job.” 

“It’s not that I can’t,” he stated, discontent heavy in his tone, “but if there’s an issue with me, I’d like to hear it from _her_.” 

Steven was keen on being the one to confront Alex – at least this way he knew what to expect – but Matt was adamant and undeniably bull–headed. Before Steven could get another word in, Matt made a motion to end their conversation, catching sight of the DA walking towards them. 

“Did Adam get his shot?” Steven asked, nodding towards the director, who was in the middle of examining the footage. 

“He did,” the DA responded with a smile as he turned to face Matt. “In fact, he’d like to go over the next scene with you,” he added. “Until Alex returns to set.” 

“Why? Where’s she gone?” Matt looked past the DA at the crowd on set, eyes trying to spot her blonde curls. “He needs her there too.” 

“Oh, she’s been briefed already,” he clarified, “but she should be returning soon for rehearsal.” 

He neglected to speak further on the matter and made his way back to set, already in too much of a hurry to notice Matt giving Steven a look. 

“You go ahead,” Steven sighed. “I’ll go look for her.” 

He rubbed a hand against his forehead, heading towards the exit, but Matt caught his arm before he could take another step. 

“Matt, you haven’t got a choice.” Steven looked at the other man’s grip on him. “Unlike me, she won’t let you pin her down long enough to get a word in.” 

“Then I won’t,” Matt said, releasing his hold on Steven. “I don’t need to.” 

“Expecting silence to work in your favor?” 

Matt scoffed, unable to hide his aggravation. 

“Of course not,” he stated. “I meant I'll get _her_ to do it.” 

“How’s that?” 

Steven tilted his head, encouraging him to explain, but Matt didn’t comply – eyes glazing over as he lost himself in a thought. Neither man said another word, not until Steven saw Matt’s face begin to soften. It was alight with an emotion he couldn’t place, but Steven caught it, and soon realized what was happening. 

The gears in Matt’s head, they were starting to turn. He could sense it. 

“What are you up to?” he finally asked. “Do you really think she’ll talk to you?” 

"Talk?” Matt's eyes scanned the room around them until he spotted Adam on set. When he did, his focus shifted back to Steven, suddenly humored by the notion. “Who said anything about talking?” 

With an unnerving grin, Matt left Steven as he found him, making his way to the stage. Steven, however, was hardly the same. His earlier contentment now dissipated, overcast by a strange sense of dread. 

What had he gotten himself into? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hope you all enjoyed that! It was a nightmare to finish. Currently posting it on my birthday because I wanted it done lol.
> 
> Thank you so much for the love and excitement over the first chapter. Really glad people are liking the story. It's been a fun write! Thanks for reading so far. :)
> 
> Also! The angst got the best of me, so the story's length has now doubled (whoops). I tend to indulge in my ideas with very little self control. Hope you guys don't mind a slower burn than originally intended. x


	3. Chapter 3

The studio was far calmer leading up to the final shoot of the day, a majority of the crew having already gone home as the evening progressed. The remaining few were either behind the camera or in front of it, setting up for the scene. Fortunately for them, it wasn’t intended to last beyond their allotted time. For others, however, it proved to be far more demanding than expected. 

Matt had just returned to set with his fists clenched by his sides. He was thrilled, or _should_ have been, finally getting the chance to play his part, but when he walked in, all thoughts were clouded by those of Alex. And no, not his earlier impressions of her, which left him dazed and breathless, nor remnants of his conversation with Steven _about_ her, which left him baffled and disheartened. 

It was the Alex he saw when he entered the room, being lifted up in that harness again – the same set of wires dangling above her, like a marionette beneath its strings. 

This was the Alex who set his teeth on edge. 

When Matt initially parted ways with Steven, he was prepared to speak to both her and the director about their upcoming scene – ‘prepared’ being the operative word as he knew to expect her distance throughout rehearsal. What Matt did _not_ expect was for Alex to not show up at all, leaving him to be briefed by Adam on his own. 

Now, seeing her being carried onto the wooden structure beside her, Matt realized Alex wasn’t beginning rehearsal, but wrapping up. She must have returned at the last minute, right as he left for another run through hair and make–up. Allowing her to start _and_ finish without him. 

Allowing her to avoid him at all costs. Again. 

“How bloody convenient,” Matt muttered, lips pressed firmly together as he walked to the stage. 

He refrained from glaring as he approached it, not wanting to give into his vexation right before a shoot. Especially before one which depended so heavily on his concentration. 

How Matt wished he could, though. 

He hadto know where Alex’s mind was, but to do so without scaring her off meant getting a grip on his impatience. It was not a luxury he could afford. However, at least now they would be in close quarters, and virtually on their own. Matt could attempt to charm his way through, if only to see how she really felt. Maybe Steven would be right about him imagining things. 

But if that didn’t work? 

Frustration crept up on him again until he caught sight of Adam, the tight line of Matt’s lips lifting into a smile. 

Well, then he had another trick up his sleeve, didn't he? A playful proposition, he liked to call it. The only natural move thereafter would be to talk, and he was sure it would work. 

It had to. 

“Baby steps,” Matt sighed, hands adjusting his bow tie when he noticed Adam had spotted him. 

“Perfect timing, Matt,” he shouted, waving the other man over. Matt complied, joining the crew as he passed the wooden structure holding Alex, stealing a moment to gape up at it. 

Though the edge of her heels peeked out, he could hardly see her. Not until Adam ushered a crew member to lead him to the steps of the Tardis – the towering structure facing hers – which he imagined was far easier to climb without the strain of a harness encasing him. 

As instructed, Matt carried himself to the top and stepped inside, shadows of the interior casting over him and the man aiding him in the stunt. He cautiously approached the opposite ledge, but when he reached the Tardis doors, he was suddenly peering over a ten–foot drop to the stage floor – his stomach sinking with it. Matt knew it was best to keep his eyes up, looking ahead instead. 

When he did, he found Alex staring back at him. 

“All set, Matt?” Adam shouted from below. 

“Ready,” he responded, eyes still on hers. He was anxious to begin, despite his earlier aggravation. 

“Did you want to try it again, Alex?” Adam then asked, turning his attention to her. “With Matt here?” 

Matt braced himself, but Alex’s focus had already shifted away from him. 

“No, I’ve got it,” she said, holding onto the wires above. 

Matt scoffed in response, looking away to stifle his laughter – visibly shaking as he did so. Of _course_ she did, having rehearsed the stunt enough to not even need him there. 

Adam was motioning for the camera to start rolling, calling out for everyone to take their positions, but as he waited to cue them, Alex noticed Matt's demeanor. 

“What’s gotten into you?” 

Matt was too lost in the amusement of his own thoughts to realize she was speaking to him. When her voice reached him, his head shot back up to look at her. 

“What?” he asked, brows furrowing. 

“You were trembling,” she said, eyes drifting back from where Matt hid his face. “Are you all right?” 

Matt was taken aback, but not by her words. It was the trace of sympathy Alex failed to hide within them. He composed himself, ready to brush off the suggestion, but her sudden interest encouraged him to dig deeper. 

“Of course,” he said. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I thought the height was getting to you.” She sounded almost hopeful about the idea. 

Matt raised his brows in surprise when he picked up on her tone, realizing what was happening. 

Perhaps he wouldn’t need to try as hard to get her attention as he had anticipated. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, a child could do this,” he chuckled, waving away the notion. “Even _your_ stunt.” 

Matt pointed up to the wires in her hands, overjoyed by the banter between them, but when he looked back down at her expression, her eyes were shut – hands gripping the cords tighter. 

His heart sank. 

“Alex?” 

“Can we hold for a moment?” she called down to the crew, ignoring Matt altogether as she stepped back from the ledge. 

“Everything okay up there?” Adam asked, halting his command over the camera. 

He approached the structure, intending to climb it himself, but someone held him back. They exchanged a look Matt couldn’t quite catch, but it forced Adam to stay in place as the other man – the stunt coordinator from earlier, Matt realized – used the ladder to reach Alex’s side. 

“Would you like me to check it again?” he whispered as he stood in front of her. “I really don’t mind.” 

Alex’s back was turned away from Matt, keeping him just out of earshot, the only words he could make out being, “Just stay by me, will you? I’d feel better.” 

The stunt coordinator smiled at her reassuringly, tickling Matt’s curiosity. 

“Is there anything I can do?” he decided to ask, but they exchanged a glance no more telling than that with Adam. Matt knew there was no use in trying when Alex kept her back to him, brushing him off again. 

Where did he go wrong this time? 

“One smooth motion,” Adam called out, not giving him a chance to continue wondering. Not until the director paused and added, “You’ll be just fine.” 

‘Be just fine’? Why would he need to say that? 

Matt’s eyes scanned the wires above her again and the way they peeked out from the neckline of her dress. He was unable to make sense of such an assumption. She _was_ fine, elated even, swinging from her harness before. She was having the time of her life. What changed now? 

“Just one smooth motion,” Alex stated, taking a deep breath as she inched towards the ledge again. 

“Right,” Adam answered gently, “and then Matt will pull you into safety.” 

“I’m sure he will,” she mumbled to herself. 

“Are you all set, then?” 

Alex tried to give Adam the go–ahead, but she struggled to lower her hands to her sides. 

“Hold on, wait,” she said, stopping him again to look behind her. “I’m sorry, could you?” 

The stunt coordinator immediately stepped forward to aid her, grabbing a hold of the cords in her hands. While every other crew member looked on patiently, the situation didn’t faze Matt – sighing audibly as he turned back into the Tardis and leant against a wall. 

“Hasn’t she _just_ had it checked?” he asked, failing to suppress his irritation. They were running out of time as desperately as he was his patience. “She’s hardly parted with it all day.” 

The crew member behind Matt – obliged to take his heat – shrugged and remained quiet, but when Matt’s distress grew, it dawned on him that Matt must not have been told. 

“You didn’t hear, did you?” he asked, standing up from his position in the corner. 

“Hear what?” Matt stepped closer to the man, whose eyes widened with realization. 

“That’s right,” he said. “You weren’t there, when she was rehearsing.” 

“No, I wasn’t,” Matt responded, glancing over his shoulder at the very reason why he neglected to be – at the person who kept him from doing so. “But why? What’s that got to do with it? 

Matt watched the other man peek over at Alex and her preoccupation with the harness before speaking, mindful to keep his voice low. 

“That's where it happened,” he whispered, nodding towards the stunt coordinator. He was inspecting the wires, tugging and re–securing each lock until Alex was satisfied not a single one would budge. “Before you came back to set, she was taking off in that bloody thing again. Rehearsing, as it were. Until one of the buckles malfunctioned.” 

Matt’s expression softened, turning away from him to look out the Tardis doors again - overcome with a desire to look at Alex again, as if he needed to be sure. 

“Was she– Is she all right?” he asked, eyes settling on her. “Did she get hurt?” 

“No, thank heavens,” the man sighed, retreating to his place in the corner. “She was only a few feet off the ground.” 

“Sometimes, that’s all it takes.” 

“Yes, well, she _was_ shaken up by it,” the man continued. “Trembling, even.” 

“Trembling?” Matt froze upon hearing the word. “Was she really?” 

Getting into position again, the man only hummed in response, but Matt didn’t pry. He didn’t need to, running a hand through his hair as his mind became fixated on the word.

Trembling, even. 

Trembling. 

_You were trembling_ _._

Matt shut his eyes, replaying her words over and over. Enough times for concern to be replaced with a feeling far less tolerable. 

“Idiot,” he spat out, just above a whisper – the foul stench of remorse churning his stomach. “You absolute _idiot_.” 

Matt stepped out towards the ledge again, gazing across the space between both structures. 

Gazing at Alex, taking in every inch of her – 

Her unsteady hands smoothing out her gown, her chest swelling and collapsing with each breath, the way her eyes glazed over trying their best not to look down. Trying their best to look anywhere else. 

He didn’t notice before. Why hadn’t he noticed before? 

“Alex,” he said, but she didn’t hear him – or chose not to. He couldn't blame her. 

When she initially reached out to Matt, she wasn’t trying to tease him, or waving her white flag. 

She was trying to find someone who understood, and foolishly believed Matt could, under the impression that _he_ was scared too. 

But what did Matt do? 

“Oh, what did I do?” he sighed, desperately willing her eyes to meet his. 

He didn’t reach back, that’s what. 

He didn’t comfort her, he didn’t validate her, he didn’t even try to understand. 

All he did was make fun of her, albeit unintentionally. 

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Adam said, glancing down at his watch. “We need to get this shot in.” 

Alex bit her lip as she neared the edge of her platform, looking over her shoulder again. 

“You’re sure it’ll be all right?” she asked, hands sliding down from the wires to run over her harness. 

“Promise,” the man behind her stated, stepping out of view from the outside. 

Alex mustered up a smile, feigning what belief she could. When she turned to look out the structure, though, it began to falter again. 

Doing her best to keep her gaze from dropping, Alex shifted it instead and surrendered to the view in front of her – the figure standing at the entrance of the blue box. 

“Have you got it?” Matt asked her, his fingers holding onto the door frame. 

His expression was stiff, guilt–ridden, but the longer she looked at him, the more tender it became – both falling silent as his words hung in the air between them. 

She swallowed her nerves, nodding at him. 

“I’m ready, Adam.” 

“You’re sure?” he asked, hesitating to direct the cameraman. 

“Yes.” Alex took a deep breath. “Let’s just get on with it.” 

Adam didn’t push her any further, sitting back down in front of his screen and calling for positions. Once the camera started rolling, he gave Alex her cue. 

And she followed through with it – at first. 

Reaching her hands out in front of her, Alex stepped off the ledge into the empty space ahead. As her feet left the security of the wooden beam, they began to lift up behind her, but much higher than she had anticipated.

It was then that Alex lost her nerve again.

Having only made it halfway, she balled her hands into fists, but they automatically reached for the wires above. And when she pulled on them, they sprung her back upright, swaying her towards the Tardis doors.

Matt was waiting on the other end, hand outstretched to grab hers, but when he saw her struggling, both arms reached out for her waist instead – making him lose his balance in the process. 

“Matt!” the crew member behind him shouted, lunging forward to get a grip on his jacket. “Pull her in,” he instructed, “into the Tardis.” 

“I’m fine,” he insisted, stepping backwards with Alex pressed against him. "I have her."

Matt was nearly out of breath trying to find his footing again, but as he inhaled, the flowery scent of her overwhelmed him – and then the sight of her, and then the feel of her. He was only pulled out of his daze when he heard her voice. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said, getting a hold of her own footing before looking back at the drop. Her arms had already let go of him. “I’ve mucked it up, haven’t I?” 

Matt quickly shook his head, stepping to the side to give her space - wanting nothing more than to say _n_ _ot at all,_ but Adam had beaten him to it. 

“You’re fine, Alex,” he interjected, tone as gentle as he could manage from below the structure. “We’ll call that a practice run.” 

She didn't respond, attempting to repair the disoriented state of her gown. 

“It’s all right, see?” Matt said after a moment, unable to remain silent when Adam’s reassurance fell short. “We can have another go.” 

He smiled at her, hoping – almost expecting – for it to work, but Alex hardly looked at him. 

Matt grew tense, afraid she’d think he was making light of it – or worse, patronizing her. 

“I suppose," she finally said, sighing as she turned away. “I was just hoping that would be the last.”

Alex didn’t wait for him to respond, her hands holding onto the wires as she carefully stepped over the ledge to be lifted back. Despite doing it with ease this time, he caught her fingers twitching. 

“Would you like it checked again?” Adam asked her when she reached the other side.

The stunt coordinator pulled her into the structure, hands ready to do so, but she shook her head. 

“Once more, then.” He let Alex catch her breath before gesturing for the camera to start rolling. 

Matt hadn’t left his place at the entrance of the Tardis, near–hanging over the ledge as he waited patiently. The crew member behind him had attached an additional wire to his belt, securing him to the inside of the Tardis. Despite the risk, Matt knew he wasn’t the kind to think first. Alex had just proven that. 

“Ready when you are,” Adam shouted. 

Taking another breath, Alex spread her arms to her sides and stepped out, but as soon as her hand brushed against a wooden beam, it held on and her foot slipped beneath her. 

“Alex!” Matt reached forward, but the pull of the wires held him back this time. 

She was fumbling, clutching onto the beam as she struggled to find her footing on the ledge. Before Alex could lose her grip, the stunt coordinator had his arms around her, pulling her back inside again. 

“I’m fine,” she said repeatedly, leaning against the wall of the structure. “I just need a moment.” 

“We can stop, Alex,” Adam called out, "if you'd prefer.” But she didn’t answer.

Her eyes were shut, in an effort to regain her composure. When she finally opened them again, they surveyed the space between both platforms – the distance she had to leap – in hopes that it wasn’t as long as she kept imagining. 

As her luck would have it, it still was. 

Perhaps Adam was right, she should just-

"Do it, I know you can."

Hearing those words, Alex froze. The voice was faint, but she knew it was Matt's.

Her eyes trailed upwards to follow it, reaching his lips as they began to move again.

 _Focus on me,_ he mouthed, pointing at himself when he caught her attention. _I’ve got you._

Alex could almost hear him, her breath hitching in response. 

So distracted by her own fears, she didn't realize how much she'd numbed her concerns about Matt. Even as she stood there watching him, expecting them to resurface. 

And they almost did, but the harder Alex tried to give in, the more she found herself pulling away again - towards a new feeling she couldn't quite shake off. 

“No, Adam,” she finally said, eyes on the man in front of her. “I want to try again.”

“Are you certain?” The director looked up at her, reluctant to signal the camera, but when she nodded with assurance, he gave his cue.

Alex didn’t hesitate this time, hands reaching straight ahead of her - farther than she could manage before, surprising even herself. As she did so, Matt pulled the wires taught behind him, already leaning half his body out over the edge to meet her. 

As soon as Alex was in reach, he didn't let her wait a second longer, taking hold of her wrist to pull her in. Luckily, Matt's balance was intact this time, enabling him to drag her halfway through the Tardis. Alex’s feet reached the floor of the blue box before she even noticed she’d made it. 

“Just like that,” Matt said, helping her find her footing again. His arms were wrapped around her, keeping her a safe distance from the ledge. “You’ve done it.” 

“I have, haven’t I?” Alex was near–breathless, looking back with her hands still clinging to his shoulders. “One smooth motion.” 

They both chuckled at her remark, eyeing the steep drop she had just flown over. 

“I told you I’d get you,” he whispered, but Alex went silent hearing his voice by her ear. Feeling her turn to face him, Matt did the same – all laughter subsiding when their eyes met again, no longer two towers apart.

“Yes, I– I suppose you did."

Alex slid her hands down, fingertips curling beneath the lapels of Matt's jacket just as his grazed over the embroidery on her dress. They stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak, but when neither managed, someone behind them cleared his throat.

“Sorry, folks,” the man said, holding something up in front him, “I hate to interrupt, but...” 

Catching sight of Matt’s wires already in his hand, they both looked down between them. Neither had noticed they were still very much in their embrace, and at too safe a distance from the Tardis doors to justify it. 

“Right, yes, of course,” Matt said, stumbling over his words as his grip shifted down to her arms. He attempted to distance himself, but Alex grew flustered and turned away completely, breaking them apart. 

She let the crew member detach the remaining wires from her harness, and he did so quickly, dropping them over the ledge before bidding them adieu. As soon as he left, however, the cramped blue box became uncomfortably quiet. 

They didn't utter a word, but they didn't seem in a hurry to leave either, though Alex knew she should have been – wondering how she’d caught herself alone with him _again._ Matt, on the other hand, knew this was the moment he’d been waiting for. All he needed to do was say something, and he almost did. Almost. 

“You nailed it, Alex,” Adam shouted, seizing Matt’s opportunity as he bounded up the steps. “The shot’s perfect.” 

“Is it?” She looked from Matt to the man now beside her, smiling at him as if nothing was amiss. “So, I didn’t make a mess of it?” 

“Not at all,” he said with a laugh, nodding in the direction of the screen below. “Why don’t you come see for yourself?” 

“I’m right behind you,” Alex responded, about to turn towards the exit with him, but she found herself hesitating. 

She watched Adam leave ahead of her, prepared to follow him, until something overcame her and she stole another glance back at Matt. He was leaning against the wall, seemingly lost in thought, staring up above him.

Not staring at her, like she’d expected.

Like she'd almost-

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Alex asked, raising her voice to get his attention, if not to stop her own train of thought.

Matt’s head popped up at the sound of it, looking around to find who she was speaking to until realization struck him. 

“See me?”

“Tomorrow,” Alex repeated, “for the next scene?” 

“Yes, yes, of course,” he said, regaining his composure. “Tomorrow indeed.”

Matt bowed his head as he spoke, almost certain he heard Alex laugh in response, but when he looked up at her again, he found her returning the gesture.

“'Til then," she said, pulling up the hem of her dress to leave the Tardis.

He watched her descend the staircase, waiting for her head of curls to vanish from sight. When Matt was sure she'd gone, he leaned back against the wall again, eyes returning to the darkness of the blue box - lost in a far more favorable thought.

“'Til then,” he whispered, grinning at the familiar flowery scent still lingering about him. "'Til then."

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a multi-chapter story before, so I apologize in advance for the mess it may become. I'm heavily invested in this one, though, and I hope anyone reading so far is enjoying it as well.
> 
> (P.S. Updates will come slowly, but they will come!)


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